Q: What is ruling with regards to a husband who chats to woman online in an explicit manner and denies it blatantly despite proof that I have seen these emails and sms and some of these woman who I called told me what was happening? It has happened a few times before and his parents are not doing anything with regards to questioning him about this behavior. I am so confused as I want a divorce and don’t know how to go ahead with it.
A. It is not permissible for a man to have ANY contact with a non-Mahram female, be it telephonic, via sms, or mixit or facebook messaging, unless the communication is strictly business. So your husband is wrong if he thinks he can just chat over the net to other females. This is totally Haraam and is Zina of the fingers (typing out messages to a non-Mahram woman) just as it is Zina of the tongue to speak to her and Zina of the hands to touch and so forth.
Secondly, Islam teaches that any act that leads to sin or becomes the stepping stone towards sin is also sinful and must be avoided. Clearly this act of your husband will lead to sin. For example, he might be fantasizing over these women after reading their messages. In fact, from my experience in dealing with these cases, most men share crude and rude messages with women over facebook and mixit, but because it is easy to cover their dirty tracks, they lie and say ‘we are just communicating for fun’. This is their idea of fun, but Shari’ah condemns it. Please show this answer to your husband, or send it to his mail or if possible get it to him via this facebook thing.
Do not be hasty in seeking a divorce. Try your utmost to remedy this situation. Maybe you can get some elders of the family or the local Ulama to advise him and make him realise his folly.
May Allah make it easy for you and grant him the ability to change his life, Aameen.
Mufti Siraj Desai