Q: My son likes a girl for a long time now. He wants to marry her but we do not approve of her because she does not show any respect for us and she is bossy and pushing him into marriage although he has no job. With us not knowing anything they arranged a proposal date and also bought an engagement ring. I am confused as to let my son marry such a girl who does like us or disregards us as his parents. What do you advise?
A: We can advise that if your son is adamant and only wants to marry this girl, then let him marry her. Marriage will at least save him from Haraam contact with her, and perhaps from zina. Tomorrow this girl might fall pregnant.
Meanwhile your son must find a job, live separately from you after marriage and fend for his new wife. If he is forced to marry someone else, he may still keep contact with her, which will be detrimental to his Imaan, marriage and future.
You should strongly advise him of the flaws in this girl’s character and her bad habits, some of which you mentioned in your question. Further emphasize that if the marriage does not work out later on, he must not come back to the parents for help and assistance. Then he shall have to fight his own battle and sort out his own problems. This is because he has made his own decision to marry this girl, against the wishes and consent of his parents.
May Allah Ta’aala guide him, Aameen.
Mufti Siraj Desai